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I can.. but I won't

Every Sunday I look forward to one thing and that is listening to the word of God at church. However, this Sunday for me went a bit different.

SO rewind to Saturday night...

I wasn't really having a good night because I was disrespected by someone that I cared about and on top of that I had a really eventful day which resulted in me being tired. I prayed for about 2-3 minutes and decided that, that was enough for me and that I did not need or even wanted to go to church the following morning. (Quick side note: I always set an alarm in order to wake up early, because if I don't, I will oversleep). I did not set an alarm.

Sunday morning:

Service starts at 11 o clock, I wake up at 9:06am, on my own. The night before I went to sleep around 4am because I stayed up with intentions on sleeping in and skipping church. I looked at my phone, like really.. Crazy thing is I woke up feeling refreshed, like I was not tired from the night before. At that moment, I knew my spirit wanted me to go to church, but still my flesh was like no. So I proceeded to closing my eyes, but right before I did, my friend Eunice texts me like "wake up you're going". She did not text me saying "hey are you going today?" but she text me saying 'YOU ARE GOING'. There it goes again something trying to push me to go. But then something didn't want me to go, because now my excuse was, I don't have an outfit. Eunice says to me "Maddie its just church" simultaneously , I am on the phone with one of my friends who is telling me"don't go to church, its just one day"

Yall get where I am going with this?

Two different forces were playing tug a war with me staying home or going to church..

God won, like he always does, and I went to church.

Fast forward to right now:

Going to church today was the BEST decision I ever made. The service was so so so good and it was exactly what I needed to hear and so the point of this whole post was for me to share the message with you all:

"I can but I won't" this statement in itself holds so much power and here is why:

We as christians, as believers have freedom. But with freedom there are limitations and boundaries. Some of us believe that because Jesus Christ died for our sins, we are free to sin and then there are some of us who believe that, if we are not walking in actual sin, everything we do is okay and acceptable. BOTH of these ideologies are wrong. They are because with freedom there are LIMITATIONS. Our freedom causes us to look at the world through right or wrong lenses when most of the times, there is a bigger picture or deeper understanding to things, like how and what we do impacts others around us. Just because you can do something, does not mean you should do it, does not mean you are free to do it. For me personally, ever since I've started this journey with God, I've been in both of those christian shoes, where I walked in sin because Jesus died on the Cross for me or where I justified my behavior by saying this is not a sin... so I can roll my eyes at this girl, or I can curse this driver off for cutting my off on the road, not realizing that everything we do impacts others. and the key word is IMPACT. It is not about right or wrong anymore but about your impact in the world. we all have a will that God wants us to exercise. So before you think about taking that drink at the club, or before you think about engaging in that toxic conversation about how that girl's hair is messed up, think about who you are impacting. And know that when you offend someone on this earth, you are also offending Jesus Christ, as we were made in the likeness of his image.. People you least expect, are always watching you. You never know if someone wants to come to Christ, but because they heard you curse, they changed their minds. and lastly, be careful who you listen to, who you surround yourself with, because sometimes our ASSOCIATES tend to tell us what is "right" when really it is wrong, but we go along with it because we want to be accepted. God accepts you. Stay true to that and declare the testimony that "I CAN BUT I WON'T' over you life and watch how your life shifts. In this post, from this day forward, I declare that "I can but I will not" in my every day life. God bless you all.

P.s. I could have stayed in my bed, but I DID NOT.


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